These are the view from my front window at 10am today. We're expected to accumulate about a foot of snow, and it looks like we're well on our way!
I am working from home today because I didn't want to get stuck at the office not able to go home. Blue is off work, which means he's still asleep (bastard).

Anyway, enjoy!

Oh, and yes - there's a road in these pictures. We live on a corner, so there's a road running L to R in all the photos, and the last one has our other road running top to bottom on the right.

It's official, I have a job offer to be a Buyer. I'm going to take it, but I'm making them sweat a bit first. I'll accept tomorrow or Monday and start on Monday, Sept 29th.

Not bad for moving to #5 in the Top Ten Fastest Dying Cities in America without a job! Suck on that, Forbes!

I've been debating about posting this entry, because the last two weeks have been such a mix of extreme joy and deep pain.

My trip across the country with Blue was great - went off without any problems as far as the moving went. We stayed with my aunt Lenora and Uncle Jerry on day 2, Brandi and Tom on day 4, Zach on day 5, and Elaine on day 6. It was awesome to see everyone, and I'm so glad we spent the time to make the detours.

However, the morning of day 6, waking up at Zach's, my dog Wendy was unexpectedly unable to walk. After taking her to the vet, it was determined that she ruptured a disk, and was paralyzed from the midback. The vet advised a conservative treatment of crating, and lots of meds. I agreed, because I couldn't stand the idea of putting her down, and we travelled with her to Terre Haute. As the reality of her situation set in (we had to help her out to do her business, and everything else), it became clear she was suffering. She cried (whined) all night, and in the morning I took her to Elaine's vet (who used to be my vet) and had her put down. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I miss her terribly. But there was no life left for her.



On the job front, I've interviewed (twice on site!) for a Buyer position with a multi-national company headquartered here in Dayton, and I am told I'll hear back late this upcoming week. I'm also interviewing for an Admin position with a local software company here. It's looking pretty good, though nothing's in the bag for sure.

The short line on my life is this: Everything is awesome, providing I get a job soon. I am so in love, and that's really all that matters to me right now.

Ciao.

This is a perfect example of why commissioned jobs can hurt you, and why I'm leaving a paying job of my own free will with no new job yet. Why go broke slowly and alone when you can go broke quickly and with someone you love -- especially when there's hope of NOT going broke!

Note: None of these links are PG, most exceed the ratings scale. Enjoy.

Having rediscovered The Daily Siege at Nerve I've updated my avatars. You can see them here.

All the new ones are from the work of Clayton James Cubitt (Siege) except the one i used in my last entry, which is from The Catholic Schoolgirl

I am so looking forward to moving. I am beyond ready to go.

There is something so desperately special about falling for one of your best best best friends. It's like coming home, a warm blanket, your favorite book, a kitten to cuddle, and cake. All at once, and wrapped up in a heartwrenching feeling that it can't possibly be this simple, and this good, and this RIGHT.

Nothing I've ever done or felt or seen could have led me to expect that it could be like this, and I'm certain it's only the beginning.

I'm moving to Ohio to be with Blue. I have to move to Ohio, whether it does nasty things to my career or not. I've never been a spontaneous person, but I am taking a flying leap at love, and spitting in the face of reason and rational thought. This love is precious, and I'm going to do everything in my power to keep it.

Oh my lord, I'm tired.

Went out last night with Ariel and Ashley, two great gals from my High School era. We got snazzy looking (yes there's a picture, NO I'm not posting it), and headed over to Seattle around 9pm.

Ashley's leaving next week to spend 2 years in Japan, so we had to have a 'last hurrah' for her, and I personally think things went down in great style! I did, however, quickly determine that 2 years of abstaining from alcohol has made me a cheap date. I think I only had like 4-5 drinks, and I was pretty wasted.

Case in point: I danced. Dess does not dance. I have no rhythm except, apparently, when I'm drunk. Something to remember, that's for sure.

I didn't get home till around 3:30am, and unfortunately had to be up at 9am to go with a neighbor to the local off-leash dog park. Yeah... I woke up at 9:40, when my phone rang. NOT 9am when the alarm started blaring. I did manage to pry myself out of bed, and get going, and about 10:30, we took the dogs to the park. Wendy LOVED being off the leash (this was a first, for her), and she did a great job of sticking close to me, which I appreciated.

Then I met a former coworker for lunch and learned all about her new job, and we talked quite a bit about why she left, and why I'm leaving too (oh yeah - Aug 22 is my last day at my current job. Do I have another yet? nope).

After which, I went and helped rainonthewind to re-organize/re-arrange one of the rooms at her school (to GREAT effect, btw. Maybe I should be a professional organizer for people with space constraints?).

Once done with that, I went and browsed at the shoe store, but the only ones I wanted they didn't have in my size (figures!). Came home, read my book for about an hour, and nearly fell asleep on the couch!

Somehow, I need to stay up at LEAST another hour. 7:30 is too early, even for me.

Took a long weekend to visit the Peninsula with Blue. We camped, we saw Ruby Beach, we went to the NWernmost point of the contiguous US (Cape Flattery) and we took a ferry home. It was gorgeous all weekend, and I wish I'd never left. Here are a few pics behind the cut for those who want to envy us.

The rest of the pictures I took are available on Facebook.
( pictures! )

I would like to call everyone's attention to a series of posts that should have demonstrated a trend-line that I couldn't have ignored. Unfortunately, I did ignore it. Consider this a life lesson learned.
(and really, there are some non-posted items that make it an obvious trend line)

7/24/05: New beginnings, of a sort

2/7/04: It's the end...finally

2/1/04: so...I sent him this today...

Well, it's official. For the first time in a long time (like 6 years!) I'm single for more than a few days. It actually feels really refreshing, and I'm looking forward to living for me for a while.

My ex recently accused me of infecting him with a rather nasty STD. I just tested negative for everything.

Consider this a good sign if you've slept with me and a bad sign if you've slept with him.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately, about life, love, and the hot pursuit of both.

I have found someone in my life who makes me want to smile when I wake up, and who makes me want to do things I've never dreamed of as an option. So why do I still feel so angry with my past? It's easy to say "He was a bastard" or "He never really loved himself, so how could he love me?" but in reality, it's a two-way street. How can I claim to love someone new, when I would have told you 6 months ago that I was madly in love with Bryan? Simple - I can't.

I'm trying hard to come to grips with just feeling what I'm feeling, and doing what comes naturally. Relaxing the bounds of people's expectations of me is not easy, and I can only hope I can keep up with the pace being set in my life. I need to start living MY life, not the life that others think I should be living.

That being said, I need to learn how to cook. I need to learn more about my city. I need to go camping. And I damn well need to find a way to afford to move away from Bryan (he lives in my apartment complex). Anyone know a quick way to break out of an ironclad lease? Or is there anyone who'd like to live here? Close to downtown bellevue, dog-friendly, almost 900 sq ft, 1bed/1bath just over $1k a month...

A kernel of my then 11-year-old soul, dragged from the depths of my computer's dying hard drive...


Christmas Eve
Swaying back and forth in the silent dark of the night I jounced my brother slowly as he fell into the realm of his dreams. The room around me was filled with shadows falling off of the stuffed animals and alphabet blocks strewn across the hardwood floor. The moonlight streamed in the window and cast a swaying shadow of my brother's and my sleeping forms across the darkened room. *Squeak* the floor gave slightly under my foot and my brother stirred softly at the sound. I looked down as I moved closer to the window, judging my every move so as not to wake him from his gentle slumber. The clear lights of the houses on the hill outside the front window shone in onto my brother's golden curls. All of those families, in all of those houses on the hill, imagine how happy they must be; so kind to each other, so tender. If only my family could be like that, happy during the holidays. I turned abruptly from the window, trying to tear myself away from the memories of Christmases gone by. Still the memories poured into my mind; my sister and I, tearing open gifts, trading them, never satisfied with what we had received. I felt my insides squirm as I remembered my father, filming our every move, even when we told him to stop. Ours was never the understanding, joyful Christmas that families are supposed to have. I break away from the memories and slowly step rhythmically towards my old bedroom, now his. As I slowly, ever so softly, laid him down onto his bed and tucked the covers around him, he curled up clutching at his night-protectors. The stuffed animals squished in his clutching fists as I stepped out of his room, closing the door softly behind me. Walking down to my room I wondered, what about next Christmas Eve? Will he still want to be rocked to sleep, or will he be too old for such babying?

Good lord, has it really been that long since I posted? Christ, it was February!
Well - I DID go get a dog - she's about 12 years old, and a lhasa/cocker mix which means she has long curly thick hair that is impossible to keep groomed nicely. Therefore, she has a pretty short haircut normally, but is totally cute no matter what.

I also still really like my job, though it's tough to get enough done sometimes. I've just recently moved over to doing 100% business development (sales) because we had an imbalance between salespeople and recruiting staff. It's really fun to call companies and talk with their CTOs and VPs about what I can do for them - talk about good connections for the future!

Also, Bryan and I are finally through. We worked on a lot of things over the last 4 months, and even went to couples counseling. But in the end, it just wasn't working. I believe that we're both more in love with being in a relationship than we are in love with each other. It may take him longer to realize that. I wish I could say I think we'll be friends - I don't see him being able to handle that, at least not for a long time.

If you haven't talked to me in a while, I'd love to hear from you - I want to get back in touch with my old friends and restart my social life. Give me a call (facebook has my number if you're my friend) or an email (facebook also has that...)

So, yeah. I've got a new phone number, a new address (starting next weekend - who wants to help me move?) and a new job.

Phone # and address are up on facebook, if you want them.

Job is going well, though it's weird that my office is 22 women and one man (the owner/president). Can you say 'gossip' ?

Oh, and I'm going to get a dog. A terrier of some kind, most likely. We'll see what the shelters/rescue societies have.

Mom bought me a ticket to Hawaii. I leave town tomorrow night, and I fly back the next Saturday. YAY!

I've missed my mom, and this is the perfect time to go and visit her. Work phones will be redirected there, and I plan to work from the beach at LEAST once!

Is this where I say 'enjoy the rain, sleet, snow, and other particulate-filled weather!' ? I think it is.

My news? You want to know what it is? Okay.
I start my new job on January 21st.
I will be a Technical Recruiter with WesTech, a division of NuWest Group. Our offices are in Kirkland, and I'm totally excited!

Big news Monday!!

(aren't teasers awful?)